TL:DR - stuff about life I guess
Wow, two very hard questions to answer, especially the second because I don’t know if I do- I just, try not to think that I know anything. I suppose that is one of the most important things I’ve learned, or rather, one of the most important things to avoid- the illusion of security.
One of the things I like about animation, but which a lot of people seem to find off-putting about it, is that it’s contract based. In other words, as soon as you’ve finished with your contract, that’s it; you’re out of a job, and there is no guarantee that you’ll ever work with the same company again. The reason I like that is that I will get to move around, work in different places, meet more people and use different styles. I find that people who have stayed in one place doing the same thing for a long time develop this idea that things will always be there and will always be the same, which, of course, they might not be.
It’s always hard to talk to people who have had this mind set when things have changed, because they are hurt by it- they trusted something in life to be stable, and they feel betrayed and lost. It isn’t their fault, but it is a dangerous mindset to develop. There is a long standing fear of change in society, but to fear change is to fear evolution, spontaneity, creativity. At the same time, to forget your own history is to be doomed to repeat it. Perhaps that is a hard thing, to hold onto the knowledge of everything that has passed whilst accepting and exploring the new, but it is possible. Everything is possible.
This is not to say I haven’t had a secure and comfortable life or had that mindset myself, very far from it- I can’t imagine having had a more peaceful and stable upbringing. I have never been in want, and I hope I have never been ungrateful for that. My family and friends are supportive, kind and wise. I have never even moved house before I moved over here to Vancouver. I have solidity and stability in my life, but I know, as scary as it might seem, that it might not always be that way. It might be, but it might not. It’s a grim truth to accept, but chance is a startlingly prominent factor of our existence. People are fragile, lives are fragile, and lives end. People end. We wish that wasn’t true, but it is, and it must be.
Sometimes it feels as if everything is against you, but afterwards, you see that, if it hadn’t happened, things might be much worse now. If I hadn’t fallen and damaged my wrist a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have the job that I have and love now. If I hadn’t had such a terrible last year of study at university, I wouldn’t have come to Vancouver at all. I have certainly had at least one near-death experience that put my mortality in stark perspective, but I think even before it I knew how much I loved being alive, and how unlikely it was that I ever came to be in the first place.
Basically, life is confusing and dangerous and full of mad coincidences and unfair situations. It will hurt, and it will end, but if it didn’t it wouldn’t be life. Do not believe in constancy. Nothing is forever, but don’t be afraid of that- be excited by it. Believe in those crazy ideas you have at 3 in the morning, those are the ones that people will remember you for. Say those kind words to that person you admire, but were too shy to talk to- they need to hear them as much as you need to say them. When it comes down to it we are only as much as our thoughts amount to. Don’t hide your thoughts away, or worse, hide from the thoughts of others. Find them. Dig them out of books and drain them out of songs and hold them when they come to you for help.
Be as mad as the world around you. It will never play fair, and it will never make sense, but what fun would it be if it did?
