Regarding David
I’m not going to say a huge amount, and I might even delete this later, but for all of you who know which post I’m referring to- can I advise something?
Please, be careful.
Telling someone to ‘ignore that nagging voice of doubt’ can seem helpful, but it can also seem patronizing. To be told how to behave from someone who doesn’t have the same past is difficult to accept. What he told us was complete, honest, and carefully thought out.
Yes, we must let him know that we love him, utterly and truly, and that we will support him always, in any way in which we can, but do not give him directions. He did not ask us for that. He wasn’t asking for anything; he was explaining, which is a very different matter.
It may sound ironic to hear me, then, giving you advise; but having grown up with two psychologists for parents and deep routed interest in the subject (not to mention a little experience in the roller-coaster-emotions-setting field), I just feel that as much as our enthusiasm and love must reach him, it mustn’t reach him in the wrong way.
Basically, think. Not just about what you want to tell him, but how he would feel with the manner in which you tell it to him. Language is a fragile art and can be written and received in completely different ways.
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Very true, very apt, and a good thing to keep in mind.
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