A clinician I saw recently said something that really struck a chord with me, and I feel like a lot of other disabled people could do with hearing it. 

When he asked me what I did with my days at the moment, I explained the current situation (which is that I’m unemployed, out of education, and mostly housebound), and told him that I really wasn’t busy at all. I tried to play it off as a joke, like I always do, but he seemed to take it seriously. 

He said: “It sounds to me like you’re very busy, you’re just busy taking care of things that most people don’t have to worry about.” 

And that’s true. I don’t really get to think about it like that, because I’ve been told over and over again by people in my life that I just need to “try harder, do more, be busy” until everything just sort of… works itself out. But I am busy - I have to keep myself distracted to deal with psychotic symptoms that I currently don’t have any medication for, I have to spend a lot of time resting so I’m not in as much pain and have the energy to do what I need to do, it takes me significantly longer (and more effort) to do basic self-care tasks and chores… The list goes on. 

So if anyone’s out there in a similar situation to me, feeling like you’re not really doing anything, remember that you are, it’s just not what abled people would consider “activity”. And I understand that it’s boring and isolating and downright miserable a lot of the time, and no one should have to put up with this permanently, but stick with it, and know that you’re busy, and you’re doing good.