to be fair it’s only happened a very few times- about three times by anonymous folks (one was sort of weirdly polite about it but I still was like :/ okay) and once by an actual friend who I sat down and had A Talk with and now he knows more, has grown as a person and was very sincerely apologetic about it :’D 

I think it’s just one of those things that comes from a simple lack of understanding, and a lot of people are still very new to the idea of ace/aro people and how they ‘work’. It’s hard to be patient sometimes, but if we can educate people and spread that understanding at a basic level then there will automatically be an increase in tolerance and a decrease in unnecessary and oppressive policing (both in terms of shipping and irl relationships- as in the case of my pan friend who gets all sorts of flack for dating a man, because that means she’s straight somehow???). It’s a slow process but one we can all keep working on, and doing so with kindness and an open eagerness to learn is the best way!