a full-grown duck only weighs twenty pounds. i’m having a crisis. that’s not even ten kilograms. that’s nothing. a slight breeze could knock them over. i could carry them in a little backpack. by all accounts, if they tried to headbutt someone human-sized, it should look like a confused bumblebee bumping into a window. they’re just sacks of feathers. how does society accommodate such tiny birds. i’ll trust uncle scrooge as far as i can throw him, and it turns out that may actually be pretty far.