Everything I draw ends up wearing a bow-tie

Anonymous asked: not saying those first two D+D stories aren't wholly awesome themselves but I absolutely gotta have some more information on the instance where you seduced a dragon

okay fair enough and I don’t got any drawings for you today so story time it is;

alright so we’re like, at the end of this big ole campaign that’s been running a while and we’re facing the Big Cheese who is a sorceress who just went all maleficent on us and transformed herself into a dragon. It’s rad, she’s mad, we all have a good time, but due to some extremely unlucky rolls on our team and some real good rolls on the DM’s side the party is suddenly in a Bad Way; our wizard was dead, the fighter had been trapped in a block of ice, and the bard had just jumped out the window to save himself and landed in a dungheap. Frankly I still think that was an excellent idea and was probably the best move any of us made in that session. 

My rogue, amazingly, was not doing all that hot either and was the only active player left- I had two HP, my arrows couldn’t pierce the dragon’s hide without the bard boosting my attack, she was out of range for a knife attack (throwing it would lose me the only effective weapon I had) and one of my legs was broken. Our DM is all sorts of guilt stricken and hadn’t expected things to go this badly, my companions are coming up with all sorts of get-out-of-jail plots but basically I can’t run, can’t attack, am nearly dead and there’s a dragon sorceress who’s about to eat me. I look at the only stat I rolled insanely well while making the character sheet… which is charisma.

So I ask if I can roll to seduce the sorceress. The DM looks at me like I’m insane, then a genius, then an insane genius, and allows it. Please also note that my rogue is tiny kenku, beaten to within an inch of her life, about to be toasted with hellfire and the sorceress who has been trying to crush our little band for the past year has more will than a stone fortress.

I rolled a 19. 

She rolled a 1.

So, yeah. We got married.